5:58 AM

For over a week, I’ve been stuck and didn’t have an clue what to blog about. I asked Jairo last night, and his answer, “Just write about life. It’s not always perfect.” 

So……here it goes. 

It’s 5:58 AM. I’m sitting in the bathroom drinking coffee, because there’s no where else in our “studio” to sit that I won’t end up waking the baby, or Jairo, who just got home from work 1.5 hours ago. This is my quite place. 

I should be getting dressed and going to feed the chickens, the dog, the cat, the turtle and my garden (hell, I should be feeding myself!), but it’s been a tough week and to be honest, I just feel lazy. So for now, I’ll sit here on the edge of my tub, in my Grandpa’s robe, sipping coffee out of my “New Mommy” mug.  

In all reality, it’s been more than a tough week, it’s been a tough year. 

But we do a pretty good job at looking past the bad and being grateful for all the good in our lives. Sometimes tho, things just get to be too much. And that’s where I’m at today. 

Let me start by briefly (or not so briefly) explaining our situation. 

We live in a house that is owned by my Father in Law. There is a main house and an add on. We live in the add on, and another family lives in the main house (they were there before we moved in). We pay all of the utilities for the property (which is more than we make in a month) and they pay……..well we don’t really know, whatever it is that they have arranged with my father in law. I could go on and on for days about the issues here but to explain it shortly, they don’t like us living here and they pretty much make it known. 

So now I’ll take you back to the beginning of my week. And this part of the story needs explaining for you to understand the whole picture.

I had just layed Jackalynn down for a nap and Jairo had just gone to sleep (remember, he works night shift), when one of their three dogs, starts jumping on the rot iron gate (which is attached to the wall next to Jacky’s bed) and barking. This went on for about 5 minutes before I opened the window and told the dog to stop. Before I closed the window and walked away, the man who lives in the main house walks up and says “Common go…….puta juera!” 

Yup. That’s right. His dog is breaking MY gate, and waking up my baby, and I’m a “Puta Juera” (that means stupid white girl in Spanish, btw). 

The next morning, I go outside to water my plants and find cigarette butts IN MY PLANTS! So I’m already frustrated that we have no money because we pay their utility bills, and now this?? 

And now here’s where the week gets really good…….

On Tuesday, Jairos supervisor informed him and all the other Temps that the college is doing their “Fiscal year” and within 8 days all of the Temps will be fired…….our single income family will now have no income. We’ve already struggled since Jackalynn was born and I stopped working, and we’ve done it without asking for help, and all while keeping it together and being happy (we truly have been happy even tho we have so little). 

We aren’t really sure what we will do yet, but we are taking it day by, day. Jairo has applied for other positions where he works, so there’s a chance he could still get a permanent spot. He is also in the process of testing to become a Border Patrol Agent. 

I have faith one of those doors will open for him. 

We had so many plans for what we would do when we get our tax return, like taking Jacky on a vacation, but that will have to wait. I am thankful that we will have a tax return at all, and when we need it most, but man, it freaking sucks that we have to use that money for bills. 

I know one day, none of this will matter, and I will look back and be proud of us for making it through this time……but for now, I’m just going to drink coffee and pray for better days. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”             -Philippians 4:6-7 

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3 thoughts on “5:58 AM

  1. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. It’s so good that you were able to write about this. You should do it more often! You get to vent, and we get to know more of you’re story. As someone who has had very little to nothing, I can fully understand how desperate you may feel. I’m glad that you’re positive enough to say that you’re happy, that is a good thing, to see happiness even in the worst of situations!! Keep fighting, use your blog and this community as support!! I hope your husband gets another job soon and that everything works out for you. As for those shitty neighbors, I’m so sorry you get treated like that, I know you don’t deserve it!! Everything will be okay one day! sending hugs! xx

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