With Mothers Day approaching (and Mexican Mothers Day having already passed, we celebrate both in this Family)….
Are you serious?! I just spilled an entire cup of coffee on myself and couch…….
(This is real mom life people!!)
Well anyway…..back to my original post….
With Mother’s Day approaching (my first!), I’ve been thinking a lot. Thinking about my own Mom, other Moms, being a Mom and “Mom Shaming”.
First of all, why is that last one even a thing?! Why do we shame people at all?
Especially now. I’ve seen more “Mom Shaming” this week alone, than I have in a long time. And it’s heartbreaking. One particular example that really bothered me, was a friend of mine being judged for being a working Mom. How can anyone judge a Mom for working to provide for her Family?
Erin is a wonderful Mom, like so many that I know. She works hard to provide for her family, and she expresses her wishes to stay home with her sweet Kennedy all the time. Unfortunately, where we live, it is very hard to make that happen. But an explanation isn’t needed. It’s their life and they will do what they see best for their family. This is their season, and it is no one elses place to tell them how they should be living it. So why do people feel that it’s ok to kick a Mom who is already hard on herself?
I experience this daily and as a new mom, I know that we question every little thing.
Are we giving them enough food? Is it the right food? Are their clothes and diapers the right size? Wait, is poop supposed to be that color? Should they be walking already? When do I start teaching her to count? What’s that bump on her face? Why won’t she sleep? Is this the right formula for her? And on…and on….and on……
And then strangers start to chime in…...
“What’s the helmet for? Does she REALLY need it? Well back in my day…….” Well back in your day, did they teach you respect at all?!
From friends and family’s houses, to the grocery store and church. Everywhere we go someone is always questioning, then questioning some more, and then throwing in their unsolicited advice.
Even at church, where we should feel safe and guarded from any ridicule or judgment, I have had more cast upon me than anywhere else.
“It’s the trendy thing to do now” and “I don’t understand the fad” are among some of the most disheartening things that I have heard from absolute STRANGERS.
I didn’t chose to put a cranial band on my child because it’s a fad like Kylie Jenners lip injections. I did it because her pediatrician, (the person I trust most and turn to for advice on her overall care) suggested that we have it evaluated. How does that make me a questionable parent?
If you ask me, your judgment of me, makes you a questionable human being.
Unless a child is mistreated, than people need to learn to just leave parents alone. Let them navigate the tough road of parenting without your added speed bumps.
Now on to Moms in general. Where do I even start?
First of all, Happy Mothers Day to each and every beautiful Momma out there. No matter what your parenting style is, if you’re a stay at home mom, a working mom, a breast feeding mom or a formula mom, you are all amazing!
We have a tough job as Mom’s.
Most days we don’t get to finish a warm cup of coffee or eat a meal before it’s cold. We go days without showers and sometimes forget that we need to pee. We question ourselves all the time and often, a lot of us feel alone. And most of the time, these things go unnoticed by others.
That Mom you judged at church on Sunday for her wrinkled shirt and frizzy hair, she was up all night with a fussy baby and barely had time or energy to pull a half clean shirt out of the laundry basket in the rush to get to service 15 minutes late. The Mom that you made assumptions and joked about at the grocery store who had perfect hair, makeup done and nice clothes on, isn’t rich with helping hands, she probably got up hours before her family did in order to leave time for herself before the madness began. The Mom who you were rude to for her baby still wearing pajamas, is a single Mom who is working a full time job and going to school. Feeding her baby breakfast and getting to work on time was more important to her than the clothes that the baby was wearing. And by the way, check the diaper bag, chances are there’s a clean outfit or two shoved in there for later.
Before you make assumptions and judge a Mom, take a moment to think about what she could be going through. Before you question her parenting or why her child has a helmet, question how she is doing. Ask her how she is feeling and if she needs anything. If you see her carrying an arm full of bags on one side, and baby on the other, offer her a helping hand, not your unsolicited advice.
You never know just now much a kind gesture or word, could mean to Mom who feels overwhelmed and alone. Even those of us who have awesome support systems, sometimes feel alone.
So this week, let’s make an effort to end “Mom Shaming” and let’s start something positive. Let’s Be kind to Moms. Make it a point to get to know another mom, or to tell a Mom how great she is doing.
Buy your Mom a cup of coffee, and then let her drink it while it’s still hot.
Let’s start “Mom Sharing” and share stories about the wonderful Moms in our lives!
Just Be Kind to Mom’s.
From one stressed out, overwhelmed Mom to another…. You are amazing and no one compares to you!
Thank you for reading!
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